maluka, the beach & life modelling …..

Tuesday brings with it the fact that i have to get off my recovery sofa and get back into the brutal world.  I’m still under par but i have a commitment made and unless i’m dead, i always try to honor my engagements. Firstly I walk the dog (i only have one dog for now, as my other is being tended to by a friend, giving me an ounce or two of reprieve) and lucky for us the sun is out and it’s a bright autumnal morning. Once Karma is sorted I then jump a shower, freshen up and get into some comfortable clothing.

I’m hungry but have no food in close proximity and i’m decidedly going to treat myself to a breakfast of egg n bacon, that’s all i want and so i jump in the Boogie Bus with Karma and we begin our journey toward the tunnel (i have to be in Hoylake for my engagement).  I’m looking for a cafe en route but for some harsh reason, one does not present itself.  I’m waning with hunger but decide to get across the water and find something that side.

Oh and I do … as i drive toward Hoylake I espy a couple of little cafe’s but nowhere easy to park, and then, i see the chalkboard on the pavement, like the peripheral view i see of the ‘brasserie’ and shake a quick left into a side street and park up fast. Any longer and i reckon i’d have been chewing on my dog’s tail!

I walk into the beautifully quaint brasserie at about 11.40am (the chalkboard having said that breakfast is served till midday) so luck is shining for me and i ask the girl if chef would be kind enough to just cook me eggs n bacon.  She’s helpful enough, although it did seem for a moment that perhaps they couldn’t swerve from the set menu, however there’s not one single other customer in, so really, they’re glad for the meagre custom i bring.

Anyway, breakfast is ordered ….

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(cost = £6.60 / maybe expensive for a breakfast, but worthy of it)

and i am delighted !!  the best eggs i have had cooked for me, ever! probably!   oh joy, i felt as if someone was definitely looking down on me and saying, ‘there you go girl, enjoy’ …. and i did

The place is called Maluca (which in Portuguese means ‘crazy’ supposedly) … it’s a fantastic little place with an amazing bathroom …

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the size of the tap had me in awe!

and it’s child friendly i’m reckoning….

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Now i’ve got about 40 minutes to kill before the Art commences …

So, i take my beautiful Karma to the beach …

double karma

she absolutely loves the beach!

it’s a fair bit windy and chilly but it’s sure getting rid of the cobwebs.

We walk as far toward the turbines as i could and then i espied a wonderful boat and just as i was about to photograph it a man began walking all over it, at first i felt he would ruin my shots, but then he added to them, and then it turned out he was the guy who made it … we spoke and he filled me in on a couple of bits of its history … it’s known as the ‘The Grace Darling’ …..

https://www.facebook.com/TheBlackPearlNewBrighton

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an exhilarating experience, and one that i would certainly not have enjoyed had i found a cafe in Liverpool …. the winds that blow you off route are definitely some of the best …

A quick brush down of the sand and i head to the hall where the Life Art Session is to commence …

I’m well looked after, always, by this group and there’s always some fantastic results emerging..

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Now my quest is to find a bed for the night!

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the op …..

so, the saturday day of the op arrives

it’s not the best day i’ve been waiting for, but i’m a brave soldier and go in ‘gung ho’ knowing that to be is to do …

i think of nothing

i do as i’m told – by the wonderful people who tell me what they require of me for them to get their job done

they’re pretty good at what they do – that comes across immediately to me – it’s when i complete the questionnaire several hours later that i realise they are working toward ‘numbers’ … toward ‘results’, toward proving they can achieve what they set out to do, in their initial ‘quota’, their ‘tender’ … and in this instance, for me personally, they do …

anyway, it’s a funny thing to be on your ‘operation table’ … pre-op ,.. when the anesthetist‎ comes in and says, ‘well i’m just seeing that your heartbeat is pretty slow here’, and i say, ‘well i’m just tuning in to my yoga breathing to keep things calm,’ and he raises an eyebrow and says, ‘ah! it’s pretty usual for people here in this position to be having a much faster heartbeat’, …. i look at the white ceiling,  he then says, ‘any chance you can quicken your heartbeat before i anesthetise you?’ … so i do ….

and it’s quite a wonderful going under … the thing i’m thinking about at the time is my band ‘futurejack’ … and i’m hearing the cheers of the thousands of fans in an arena, and i know i’m with two people, who really really love* and understand* and care* for me… makes me feel safe and in the knowledge that all will be well … and i’m thankful for that…

and then all of a sudden i’m waking up and wanting to check the monitor to see what my blood pressure is stating ..

i sit bolt upright and the nurse turns to me and says, ‘everything okay’ – and i say, ‘yep, just wanna check my blood pressure’ …

she goes on and starts talking to me and we chat about travelling and she tells me that the best place on earth to go visit is Canada, Vancouver to be exact … so, mentally, i put that on my list (pretty near the top) of places to go.

and so … recovery starts

a very very good friend (albeit having not been too long known, possibly about 2 years at the very most) allows me and my dogs to stay with her in a beautiful flat near Sefton Park ..

and she makes me

dinner @ jo nas

an amazingly nutritious meal of organic mash potato with organic parsnip and o swede and o carrot mash and cheese!! and i think we had a naughty Stella Artois on the side

i spend the next 3 days shuffling and mooching and generally feeling less than the superior human being that i have become accustom to being, but hey, hope remains a main ingredient in my bloodline…

i give thanks to the pranic vortex i continually wish for

 

*** hahaha! a year on and how wrong I was about those people whom i thought understood and cared for me … nope, they didn’t, they rather stabbed me in the back and sold me down the river …. exquisitely human performances from us all

the after bubbles ….

waking up four hours after falling asleep constituted another safe bet that hard partying had occurred…

with everyone going their separate ways it was just me n Jo left as we returned to Liverpool

and for every drop of fun you experience, there’s always a hard hitting back down to earth waiting in the wings – mine being a last minute call in to go for a pre-op appointment, couple of bloods, few questions, blood pressure being taken etc etc … a day before last minute check in!

turned out to be pretty painless, lovely nurse, lovely private hospital where i received a very dignified assessment … still doesn’t take away the fact i don’t fancy going in for the operation tomorrow …

anyway that aside, the appointment was done n dusted n then me n twoeey were back on the road heading her homeward bound – no homeward bound for me, i still don’t have a home

we stopped off for a quick drink at the White Horse and then headed to the ‘Bubble Room’ for a scran …

lamb hotpot was on the menu for us both

bubble room 1 bubble room 4 Price = £10

at first we thought it looked a bit weird, arriving in a cup! but under the mash (dumpling) there were huge chunks of lamb and it was very very tasty!  8/10 compliments to the chef – The Bubble Room, Woolton is definitely worth a visit …………. then,

we went back to Hobson’s thereafter and had a couple of swift scotch’s and a smoke and then turned in, with sweet dreams of a gig gone good – roll on the next one!

wednesday wednesday …..

So i wake up Wednesday morning under the warmth of my trusty parka jacket on my mates’ faux leather sofa and i’m feeling better than i did the night before! well, the full moon eclipse has well waned by now and i’m on the other side of its effect.  My good friend makes me a lovely strong coffee and gives me his spare keys so i can leave any time i want.  His chauffeur arrives and then he’s off to work.

Meanwhile i try planning the day ahead. Not got much to do today really, it’s the day before our big gig in Manchester and because i was such a disaster last night at rehearsals we’ve decided to get together again tonight at the Lomax, and put in another session. So, i decide to go into town, do a couple of errands and then maybe pick up something to wear for the gig.

My mood is still a bit of a damp squib, until i pop into Soho and, staring me in the face is the perfect item of clothing for the gig – a ‘psycho ward’ bright orange hoody!!  until that is, i turn 94 degrees to the left and spot something better, something even more purrrrrfect!

Shopping done i treat myself to something from Bold Street soul cafe!  my appetite’s down but definitely not out ………..

soul cafe

from here on things can only get better….. marshmallow and creamed up to the nines i get back out on the street and smile.

I’m off to meet the rest of the futurejack pack @ the land otherwise known as Lomax and we get on with it and put in a good rehearsal session. After that, me and Jo head on back to Hobson’s for a bit of our a la carte, no messing about, late supper which consists of  :

two pints - cheese n marmite

a very artistically pledged assortment of cheese and Marmite, a couple of glasses of Jamesons and a sneeky rolly or two ….

JO also presents me with 2 gifts, finely wrapped by her very self, i gets a bottle of JD Honey Whiskey and a James (My Ma) CD …

a rainy start ………….

Notwithstanding not really having slept properly i jumped up from the sofa at 8.05am and deftly folded, plumped, smartened and tidied where i’d rested, then just as sharpish i gathered together my bags and the dogs’ bowls. The three of us padded toward the front door – the two dogs sniffed at my mate’s bedroom door as we passed it by, both wanting to say their goodbyes i’m guessing – but i had one aim and that was to leave quickly so as not to get a parking ticket for having left the van in the ‘resident permit parking’ bay (from 8am to 6pm). Feeling pretty washed out from having no morning freshen up, it added little zing to the day that, when i opened the front door to the flats, i was greeted with fine falling rain that was showing no signs of stopping. Me and the dogs jumped into the ‘Boogie Bus’ (my affectionate name for the Vito) and departed.

I took the dogs to a nearby park. Still in my clothes from the previous day along with wellington boots and cagool, at least i was dressed for the weather.  Dogs sorted i then asked myself what the day was going to be? drive to Lancaster to view a motorhome? drive to Spalding to view a motorhome? find somewhere to get a shower and wash? i decided to stop at the place i detest the most, McD’s so as to use their wi-fi.  I went in the one nearest the M62. Bought a large cup of tea for 99p (feeling too sick of habitually saying the word ‘coffee’ – which, up until three or four years ago i had hardly ever consumed) and then took a pew. Opened up my laptop and joy of joy, it was dead, no battery life. I sat with my head in my hands for a couple of minutes. Then took a couple of rounds of deep breaths and wondered what exactly i was doing with my life. I drank my tea, it was brown water but fascinatingly enough it tasted perfect for my given situation.  I had some fitful thoughts passing through my head, unclear as to whether they were snippets of my dreams or actual conscious requirements for the day ahead. Lost as to what to do i decided that mostly, i really wanted to get clean and be sheltered for the day so i sent a bit of a plea to my good friend in Chester asking if i could make use of her home for the day. And i sat and waited for a reply. Luckily enough she quickly came to my rescue and said ‘yes, of course you can’ via text messaging.

Thus, my spirits lifted and i jumped the boogie bus and made haste for the M62.  The journey started off challenging as the freeway toward the M53 junction was closed (for landscaping) and i had to follow a diversion, so once again, i was driving around not knowing particularly where i was in my daily attempt at living. However, to my relief, some fifteen minutes later i found myself on a stretch of road i recognised and once again, i was en route.

Safely landed in Chester, i walked the dogs as the rain petered out. My good friend had left me a key and so i let myself in and immediately cleaned myself up and settled with my re-charging laptop and hopped on to surf the net in my quest for finding a ‘house on wheels’, (which is becoming a chore now) and is messing with my ‘balance’ in life.

I sat on the sofa for most of the day, my friend returning home a couple of hours after my arrival – we chatted a lot as it had been a couple of months since we’d last met – we made plans to go out for dinner.

So two days after the lunar eclipse I felt no closer to having any understanding of what my life means in the here and now, other than to learn how to bite the bullet and get on with it.

‘I’d read somewhere ‘Think about it this way: An eclipse is the most powerful tool the universe uses to affect change. It will illuminate a situation in a new way so that we view it differently. Events move on fast forward at eclipse time, but it is important not to jump to conclusions, as all eclipses have a second act. Additional information related to the topic that comes up now will be revealed later, within weeks. Be patient, and take time to reflect on all you hear.

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