We are love, yes we are, we prove it year in year out, on new year’s eve especially so… Hence let us now set the continuum, the love momentum from whence it came, being human is to be in love… Love yourself, love your family, love your friends and enemies and love their friends and enemies too… It’s easy to do…avoid falling in and out of love, instead remain with love, in love and let love in….let’s set a new year precedent..
We are love, love we are, are we more lovin’… Yes we are….
Five hours ago I received a message… It said simply ‘happy anniversary x’ i hadn’t been in contact with the sender for more than 7 days.. The reason being for self-preservation purposes and as a precaution to more meltdown melodrama whilst trying to live through an adventure of bravery and freedom.. In simple terms: game over. So what is an anniversary and why the necessity to dig up the road past trodden? Especially if the road ahead is not being trodden together… A date in the diary, a calendar filler, a heart wrenched moment to behold. Hand me the eraser so I can rub out the mistake, give me that piece of string so I can tie everything together that has fallen apart, let me rummage deeper into my toolkit of happiness… Aha, there’s a heart to make me remember that love is all around me. As if I need reminding. Love is particularly that elastic band, stretching me to my limit.. The past three decades of my life continually increasing the melting pot of cynicism and jadedness in the arcs and recesses of my wide open mind. Love is absolute, it is all, joy, happiness, pain, sorrow, fantasy, fancy, fucking downright evil delivery.. Every single emotion a human being produces makes up the many panes to the window of love but they’re all bound to shatter unless there is absolute understanding flowing between two souls wanting to make it in a partnership. I had forgotten that a year ago today was a moment of beautiful bonding, a weird happiness that swirled through fits of giggles and gentle caresses…I’d forgotten because I didn’t want to remember cos the basis of the union was flawed. It was fundamentally full of holes. It fired up from nothing else but alcohol, blunt packed cigarettes and rock n roll … i woke up from the hangover and smelt the Colombian coffee and since then I have been consciously in action to remove all thoughts of that time because that so-called date to remember led me along a destructive path. I experienced losses along the way, my frame of mind worsened and I changed into something I didn’t like… 365 days later I need no reminder. I’m too busy re-wiring my frazzled mind. Thus, to flip this into a positive adverse anniversary I shall now set this date as that on which I started giggling and laughing again as I put my best foot forward to once again set my life back on track.
I just read a quote by Miuccia Prada.. ‘one’s life and passion may be elsewhere but New York is where you prove if what you think in theory makes sense in life’…
My life and passion is in photography and music and i theoretically gravitate on a pivotal axle of both hope and despair … My journey up until this point has mostly been a wandering galaxy of wading through successes, failures, heartbrakes, rushes of euphoria and madness and countered by bleak nihilism. I thought i’d found myself once, thought i really had been blessed with a purpose – but that was fleeting like a double edged rainbow.. Over a decade on still i realise (and it smacks with disappointment in myself) that i am yet to achieve the fundamental purpose of humanity … love
In all honesty, i do remember faintly what love feels like… Other than that for your birth mother (which can be pretty screwy) … So, im setting off to put my theory to the test … Its not even a theory actually but for the sake of the prada quote im going with it … I’m going to strip myself of most all of my possessions and go naked (uh huh) to new york … Gonna sing my heart out and see if, like in the animal kingdom, my warbling can attract real true dynamic love …
Cos without this (what my avalon head dreams to be) amazing piece of human nature …its game over!
Wish me well
And my lucky stars look over me
Fourteen days n fourteen nights