Little Losses Major Advances

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Tenaciously threading a silken web through the winter subways and streets of New York City can both break and fix in a split second any long-term lingering need for self recognition, purpose or mental fortitude. There is simply no time or space for fear or angst whilst flowing serendipitously through this incredulously deep tiered traffic. Atop of the mental make or break scenario is the possibly beneficial instinct to know, manifest and secure certain levels of psycho physical strength and self-trust in this concrete jungle; for instance, in challenging emergency would one be able to temporarily paralyse an oncoming ferral attack per se?…or even begin to understand it…. would one know how not to panic when panic sets in – after all, each independent entity that we are must come to terms with the fact that we are never too far from the mercy of immediate interdependent critical mass human conscienceness. One cannot possibly know how reactive (positively or negatively) any one single human being is going to be…. where will that spilt second lead to? Will it induce adversarial possessive selfish defensive mistrust or could it, if handled with a balanced non judgmental understanding guide all to a new synergistic system whereby internal self security opens new possibilities for everyone. There comes a time when you have to ask yourself ‘is the army of me prepared?’

There is nothing more disconcerting than disorientation, nothing more awakening than fight or flight, nothing more futile than loss of will.

So from all loss has to come major advances….

Getting lost in NYC can be all about becoming found.

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I just read a quote by Miuccia Prada.. ‘one’s life and passion may be elsewhere but New York is where you prove if what you think in theory makes sense in life’…

My life and passion is in photography and music and i theoretically gravitate on a pivotal axle of both hope and despair … My journey up until this point has mostly been a wandering galaxy of wading through successes, failures, heartbrakes, rushes of euphoria and madness and countered by bleak nihilism. I thought i’d found myself once, thought i really had been blessed with a purpose – but that was fleeting like a double edged rainbow.. Over a decade on still i realise (and it smacks with disappointment in myself) that i am yet to achieve the fundamental purpose of humanity … love

In all honesty, i do remember faintly what love feels like… Other than that for your birth mother (which can be pretty screwy) … So, im setting off to put my theory to the test … Its not even a theory actually but for the sake of the prada quote im going with it … I’m going to strip myself of most all of my possessions and go naked (uh huh) to new york … Gonna sing my heart out and see if, like in the animal kingdom, my warbling can attract real true dynamic love …
Cos without this (what my avalon head dreams to be) amazing piece of human nature …its game over!
Wish me well
And my lucky stars look over me
Fourteen days n fourteen nights
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Commenced….