I just read a quote by Miuccia Prada.. ‘one’s life and passion may be elsewhere but New York is where you prove if what you think in theory makes sense in life’…
My life and passion is in photography and music and i theoretically gravitate on a pivotal axle of both hope and despair … My journey up until this point has mostly been a wandering galaxy of wading through successes, failures, heartbrakes, rushes of euphoria and madness and countered by bleak nihilism. I thought i’d found myself once, thought i really had been blessed with a purpose – but that was fleeting like a double edged rainbow.. Over a decade on still i realise (and it smacks with disappointment in myself) that i am yet to achieve the fundamental purpose of humanity … love
In all honesty, i do remember faintly what love feels like… Other than that for your birth mother (which can be pretty screwy) … So, im setting off to put my theory to the test … Its not even a theory actually but for the sake of the prada quote im going with it … I’m going to strip myself of most all of my possessions and go naked (uh huh) to new york … Gonna sing my heart out and see if, like in the animal kingdom, my warbling can attract real true dynamic love …
Cos without this (what my avalon head dreams to be) amazing piece of human nature …its game over!
Wish me well
And my lucky stars look over me
Fourteen days n fourteen nights
2 thoughts on “Countdown Commenced”
Blimey ! .. ’tis a big leap indeed to metaphorically or otherwise strip oneself of all of the trappings of life in favour of finding the um.. well lets call it
ones love and self ..thingy ! The “self” .. all of us men, women chickens and all living things seek to get to know and be at “one” with .. sounds trite but not intended !
We all , if we are to believe the media and just about every living thing around us “apparently” must have /need some sort of “L” in our lives .. full time , part time , good time .. it’s a big thing y’know ..or people would have us think .
I read once somewhere that we seek love from others because we doubt the love we have for ourselves is enough ..or more importantly that it is not strong enough to feed and sustain all the emotional needs and wants we have .We , apparently can’t do that on our own ..
The jury is still out on that for me ..
So is bread and water , external stimuli , emotional crutches prose and music ( and the buzz of Bacchus and beer! ) enough /sufficient to feed an empty heart ? or is there more to it than that ?
If not then , I find my thoughts turn .. as ever to the question is it really worth more risk , all this ?
The standing “strideless” on a big rock in the the sea of basic ,breezy naked vulnerability wearing nothing but a smile in a ring of hope and oh ..the whole excitement and expectation .
*Is is this “doable?”
SO, by letting the “right” one in ? or the any one that might be up to “par” .. who may/ will /potentially one day might /could/will/ rip the whole beautiful thing to tiny shreds and leave everything so preciously looked after cossetted and controlled soon /now/after/ after lying in shreds on the dirt track we all walk on every day ..
Is this a good thing to do ? or just something you have to keep doing to prove your .. who you are..
Accepting the degree of devastation and dissapointment in the ensuing disaster that may result ? Running the risk and rubbishing the rumours and the “amours”
Or the positive possibility and perfection of the pure peaceful perfect outcome going right ?
I guess when all said and done thats the whole purpose of the reason for an existence of any kind maybe ? or maybe not ?
* I guess theres only one way to find out ..
Bon chance !
Good luck Dogstar, hope you find what you are searching for. xx